Doctor Who: Dark Side of the Moon

New Doctor Who costumeIt may come as a shock to all the Whos in Whovianville but my Saturday nights are not a rush to see the latest episode.  And my Sundays are usually filled by catching up with international news and watching sports.  So we find ourselves on a Monday afternoon with the doctor, and considering the phobias that were lived out this week I’m glad I watched it in the light of day.  I was passed along some feedback this week saying that someone out there really likes reading my Doctor Who experiment articles.  I had been fairly certain that outside of the one person I know who reads them (hi Rob!) I was shouting into space.  Apparently I’m not.  So thank you to anyone who’s still sticking around on this bumpy ride and listening to my random ramblings!  I promise to never use the right term for the Doctor’s space wand.

On with the show!…

  • And we begin with the announcement that the BBC intends to wrap up Doctor Who in 2049.
  • Just kidding, it’s the future! And how do we know that? Well because Clara has straight hair of course! So serious, Clara.
  • 45 minutes to decide the future of all mankind. Wait, I think I’ve seen this one.
  • Meanwhile on Earth I’m drinking very strong coffee and eating some truly lovely fresh pumpernickel bread.
  • Eye roll. Maybe we don’t give in to all the people who desperately need to feel special, hey? Stick to your guns Capaldi! No? Alright then.
  • In the future we send our nukes to the moon? I haven’t consulted Neil deGrasse Tyson on this but that seems very stupid. 
  • The moon… has a cold?
  • “That’s what you do with aliens… blow them up.” I see that in the future UKIP is running the space program.
  • If time doesn’t stop when the T.A.R.D.I.S. leaves the present how does no one notice a student and teacher missing all their classes?
  • Cobwebs? Ew. Not even space is safe from spiders.
  • Why do you need lights inside a space helmet? Wouldn’t they just make it harder to see in the dark like when you turn the light on inside your car while driving? Not to mention paint a “look at me!” target on your most vulnerable body part for the enemy.
  • Oh. Shit. Do not let this be about spiders. Do not let this be about spiders.
  • Earthquake! Or I guess Moonquake. Sounds like a dessert, doesn’t it? Oooh… like a cheesecake! Note to self: create this.
  • Uh oh. That doesn’t sound good. Please don’t be spiders.
  • GIANT ALIEN SPACE SPIDERS OH GOD OH GOD NO PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THIS. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SPIDERS?
  • I literally just had a full body twitch.
  • IT’S EATING HIS FACE
  • I’m so arachnophobic. And every time someone says “What could it possibly do to you? Look how much bigger you are than it.” I think JUMP ON YOUR FACE AND KILL YOU THAT’S WHAT.
  • For a teacher Clara isn’t always so bright, huh. The moon is still in the future because you saved it. Obviously! 
  • Do astrophysics students watch Doctor Who as a drinking game? Because they definitely should.
  • Let us pause for a moment to understand that somewhere a writer said, “He’ll dip his yo-yo in the moon and find amniotic fluid!” And everyone else said, “Great!”
  • “My gran used to put things on tumblr.” Groan.
  • Bye-bye space plane.
  • Stop drawing it out. The moon is pregnant.
  • TWIST… it’s an egg! Same thing really.
  • It’s unique and beautiful. How do we kill it? The Moon by Gillian Flynn.
  • Historical political lecture from Capaldi, pull up a chair kids.
  • If only fixing humanity’s problems came down to one event, not the precarious juggling of many. Speaking of which this is a good time to tell you that you should be watching Madam Secretary Sunday nights on CBS. It’s excellent.
  • “I’ve never killed Hitler.” Now that would be a totally different show, wouldn’t it.
  • And… the Doctor is out. Sorry, Clara. No magic toothbrush problem solver for you this week.
  • Please notice that the man left the room so females from 3 different points in life can choose for themselves if having a baby is really the right thing to do. Feminists in space!
  • Wait wait… my grandmother used to post on tumblr? It’s 2049. That woman is what… 40? So let’s say her mother was 20 in 2009, and her grandmother was 40. I mean, it’s possible… but the quip about not being a historian? How about we leave the clever time jokes to Sleepy Hollow, shall we?
  • ROLLING HILLS OF DEATH SPIDERS. OH GOD. THIS ISN’T THE MOON IT’S HELL.
  • You have half an hour to get everyone on Earth to make a decision heavily based in ethics AND vote on it? It would take that long just to power down major centres, streetlights, stadiums. And obviously the poor countries don’t get a vote. Though judging from the amount of light you can see from space in Europe we seem to have solved the sustainable energy crisis in 2049.  But sure… let’s go with this premise as logical.
  • Oooh… pretty beach!
  • Clara is getting really upset. Oh please don’t tell me they’re going to make her be pregnant. 
  • Oh wait, she’s drinking, it’s fine.
  • Join us next time for Space on a Train!

If you’re just joining us, here’s where the T.A.R.D.I.S. has been so far this season…

  1. Doctor Who Does What? In The Where? Or Is It When?
  2. Doctor Who Episode 2: Robotic Bugaboo
  3. Doctor Who: Men In Tights
  4. Doctor Who and the Nightmarish First Date
  5. Doctor Who: The Intergalactic Job
  6. Doctor Who and the Case of Dramatic Irony