Well, it’s time for my weekly Doctor appointment. If you’ve been following along this season I’m new to Who and have stayed away from googling answers to all my many questions in the effort of keeping to my original experiment. Also, I don’t have time to fall down the T.A.R.D.I.S. hole.
Previous instalments of this series – Doctor Who Does What? In the Where? Or is it When? & Doctor Who Episode 2: Robotic Bugaboo
- Looks like we’re starting off this week with a little Professor/Student role playing game in which the Doctor wants to hear Clara’s fantasy. I would totally get detention for Peter Capaldi.
- So the T.A.R.D.I.S. is like a Hogwarts classroom in space now, or something.
- Holy big spoon non-sequitor! What is he eating off that spoon? Where was he hiding it?
- Begging the age-old question: If you could go back in time where would you go?
- Oh. My. So we’re going with campy bondage-jacket Robin Hood then. Clara is going to be so disappointed.
- PAUSE – Okay, Clara’s hair. Let’s talk. It’s longer and curly all of a sudden. Is there a hairdressing app in the T.A.R.D.I.S.? And while we’re at it is there a period costume shop in there as well?
- Spoon duel! Sure, why not. OH FUCK, NOT THE COAT!
- Everyone looks so clean and well groomed in the 1190s.
- Pretty sure they filmed an episode of Sherlock is this weird forest pot hole.
- Oh no, not the lute! Maybe now would be a good time to mention my total fear of Renaissance Fair people.
- I bet Robin is cute once you shave off all that scruff. Yup, I googled him (Tom Riley), brunette and gorgeous.
- Behold! The anachronistic earrings!
- I hope there’s a pantomime horse to go with all this banter.
- Real castle or CGI? Let’s take a moment to… no, straight to the games, okay. My god that’s an ugly hat.
- Seriously Clara, he’s probably plagued with syphilis. Or actual plague. Remember Mr. Pink? The hot solider teacher?
- In the ‘Who’s arrow is straighter?’ contest the Doctor always wins.
- Third Eye Laser Beams of Death!
- Exterminating people with a cross. A bit on the nose, isn’t it? I mean, literally, it’s on the nose.
- If he has that screwdriver how does he keep getting locked up?
- Now THIS is the Capaldi I love. Shouting, argumentative, insults. Please let him swear.
- Oh good. More lute. I was worried that might have just been the one time.
- Golden circuit boards?
- And there’s our Scottish insult box ticked for the episode. Surely that will get old at some point.
- I wonder what Dave Chappelle is up to these days.
- This Sheriff dude looks like the lovechild of Anson Mount and Christoph Waltz. (In reality his name is Ben Miller, he was Soren in the Prince & Me!)
- I have a friend who lives in Nottingham. He organizes a barefoot walk there each year and it’s taking place today! Check them out.
- The Promised Land. Again. This show really likes the old religious allegory, non? So it’s not a castle it’s a ship thing. Does only the Doctor travel by T.A.R.D.I.S.? I feel like other people’s spaceships could use with a little TARDISing.
- Yet another episode about radiation. Be sure to mention it clearly, it’s a recurring theme.
- Speaking of men in green suits, Stephen Amell. Now there’s a hero who knows how to work green leather and shoot arrows.
- Of course Clara would jump out a castle window into a lake, be carried off unconscious, sleep on the forest floor and wake up with perfect hair and makeup. Super super believable.
- Laser head robots defeated by dinner trays. Same old, same old.
- Writer 1: A robot spaceship can’t fly unless we hit it with a golden arrow! Writer 2: Are you serious? Writer 1: Don’t worry, the audience will totally be on board with that.
- DONE. Rather abruptly.
Tune in next week when there’s some sort of Doctor Who horror meets Supernatural episode coming up!