Last week was my first Whoing, if you missed it I wrote all about it here.  I figured that would give me a bit of a base for this week in my second spin around the T.A.R.D.I.S.  Of course it didn’t.  Here’s how it went… (SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!)

• Coffee’s hot, dessert’s in the oven, let’s go full T.A.R.D.I.S.
• And straight into a space laser fight between… I’m going to say Flight of the Navigator and R2D2?
• Oh good it was just a dream!  Oh no, it was the Doctor.
• Peter Capaldi just all casual about death standing there with his coffee to go.  Surely those must be cold by now.  Still, I’d have a cold coffee with Capaldi any day.  I bet it would make him swear.  Charming sweary Capaldi.
• Hey-O!  Butt joke!  Dammit Jim I’m a Doctor not a Robot Proctologist!
• Forget the toilet plunger headed laundry basket in the torture chamber, it’s time for kiddie boot camp!
• Well hello Mr. Math Teacher.  I think Clara would like to solve your quadratic equation.  Wait, when does Clara have time to teach if she’s flying around space with the Doc?  Does she have a time turner like Hermione Granger?
• Should you really just park your T.A.R.D.I.S. is a person’s office like that?  Surely it must need a permit.
• Let’s pause to consider Descartes, shall we?  Is the Doctor real or is it the elaborate dream of a bored English teacher?
• Speaking of psychotic episodes this laundry basket thing they’re using enhanced interrogation on seems a few planets short of a galaxy.  Also that voice… ughhhhh.
• “Don’t be lasagna.” – good rule to live by really.
• And to your left you’ll see work by Salvador Dalek. (the puns are contagious)
• Am I high?  Are those floating eyeballs?  Oh no, they’re KILLER FLOATING EYEBALLS.  Much better.
• Ewwww…. slimy!  That must have been a terrible day of shooting.
• OH FUCK WHAT THE EYEBRAIN?!
• ‘Resistance is futile’? So it’s an Orwellian eyebrain.
• I bet a lot of people get stoned before watching this show.  Or perhaps before writing it.
• Is there anything that space wand can’t do?
• Oh yes, that went well.  Like handing a basket of kittens over to a budding psychopath.
• PAUSE – So this Dalek thing… did the production team run out of money and start using stuff lying around?  ‘Hey, I know, flip this laundry basket over and strap it on a roomba.  Then we can shove a plunger on one hand and the other will be… this paint roller!  And um, for a face… what about the float ball I pulled out of the back of the toilet?  And crank the auto-tune to like 200%.’
• ‘What happened?’… good question Clara.  I’m glad you asked.  What happened is you’re suddenly looking very clean and not at all slimy and still have perfect bangs.  Totally plausible.
• SLAP!
• Could there be a more annoying voice?
• This one again!  I have a feeling she’s up to no good.  I mean, you die tragically and suddenly a manic looking woman shows up with a fancy tea party?  Yeah, that’s not going to end well.
• The toilet army is really destructive.  And apparently they can just show up wherever at any time.  With no explanation.
• Meanwhile Clara is saving the world by climbing around on vacuum hoses.  Let’s not look to far into that.
• Well this is backfiring spectacularly.
• Bye bye Psycho Roomba!
• Oh I see what you did there wardrobe department.  Clara’s blouse had floating eyeballs on it.  Clever.  Subtle.
• And back with Mr. Pink thirty seconds later.  Sure, why not.

That’s all for this week.  Join me next Saturday when Clara and the Doctor do something with Robin Hood.  That doesn’t sound massively confusing at all!