#BBCAN3 ep 14 – So Long Brutus, Don’t Let the Centurion Hit You On The Way Out

Posted by Katherine on April 22, 2015
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bbcan3Come on, it’s not like Brutus was ever going to run things. He sold out Caesar for nothing. Silly, Brutus. Thought he had everything worked out, thought he was being so smart, but even his lover was working against him. All hail Caesar!

If you missed the last piece the Brutus I’m talking about is Jordan. The HGs sent him packing in the closest vote of the season, 5-4. The most interesting part of watching it all unfold was how sure each voter seemed that they were doing what the whole house wanted. I wouldn’t want to be sitting around that dinner table tonight. Things are about to get AWK-WARD.

I wanted to have something interesting and insightful to say about tonight’s episode. We’re 14 in and I want to believe that I haven’t used up all my metaphors yet. And though I finished watching the show two hours ago I’m still coming up empty. I think because I’m ecstatic that Jordan was eliminated. Yes, he was a SUPER FAN, but he was a terrible player. He was way too excited about everything and couldn’t stay focused on the long term goals.

Also, he volunteered to go on the block. That never ends well.

No one likes the cocky person, especially not when they’re confined to a small space with them. But no SUPER FAN experience would be complete without staying in the Jury House, so have fun. Here’s hoping you see Sindy soon.

Speaking of Sindy With An S… Sindy and Fun Bobby got locked in the Vault for 24 hours and when time was up they had a five minute decision to make. Press the buzzer and get $10k (that comes out of the winner’s pot) and leave immediately, or stay. TWIST! Fun Bobby should have pushed the button. For that matter if Sindy With An S had a smaller ego she would have as well. Neither of them is going to win. Take the money and run, kids.

It’s a very interesting concept, though, and I hope BB brings it back. I’d like to see it hidden in the house for a whole day and anyone could have to chance to walk up and self-evict. Willow.

The only other highlight worth mentioning this week is that is seems this season has a full house of horny singles. We know about Zach & Ashleigh, and Willow & Sarah, there’s also Bobby & Brittnee, there was Jordan & Sindy for a hot minute… and of course Kevin & Pilar. Who are quickly shifting from “this is a fun way to pass time” to “oh wow, this could be something serious”.

It’s easy to chalk it up to young love, but I think more realistically it’s the sheer amount of time they spend together. Dating for two months in the real world is limited. You still have a daily life, and most likely aren’t spending every single night together. There is a preserved sense of self, and an air of mystery. But the Big Brother house is a different beast. It’s like having a first date that ends with moving in together. And when you wake up the next morning finding out the world is under quarantine and you have to stay in. (Wait… wasn’t there a movie like that? Oh yes, Two Night Stand with Miles Teller. But it was snow, not pathogens keeping them indoors.)

The point is dating in the Big Brother house is like relationship fast forward. I’m sure someone who took a math class past the age of 17 would be able to come up with a proper formula, but I’m not that person. So instead I’m going to fall back on the Dog Years formula. Every day in the house is worth 7 in real life. At this point Kevin & Pilar have been “dating” for let’s say 30 days. So that’s about 6 months. Of not having sex, just kissing and getting to know someone. At 21 that is basically a lifetime. Hell, I’m 32 and it still seems like a really long time.

So no pressure Kevlar, but the whole of Canada is rooting for you.

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