If you had told me ten days ago when I gave him the sarcastic nickname “Classy Kevin” that he would become one of my favourite males in the house I wouldn’t have believed you. Or me. Because his first impression was not that great. But tonight? What are the kids saying these days, “I can’t even.”  I. CAN’T. EVEN. with the dudes in the house. Where is our Emmett & Jon? Ugh!

Okay… not all of them are terrible. Johnny Veto continues to be adorable and Papa Bruno is playing a genius blend-into-the-wallpaper game so far. And Classy Kevin has fallen into the first Showmance of the season and can’t stop being way too sweet with Peely even if their names don’t work in any sort of portmanteau.

My beef is with the rest of the beefcakes in the house. I’m not sure if it’s that people forget that there are cameras watching and people transcribing their every move 24/7, or if they’re just so clueless at how offensive they are. I’m betting it’s both. With tons of time to kill and nothing to do for days at a time the HGs spend a lot of time chatting about random things. Somehow the subject of picking up women came up. Because of course it did.

Godfrey revealed that he does this peek-a-boo move on girls at the bar. Which is equal parts creepy and lame. Greg Graig had some opinions. Or rather lots of opinions. He said that his favourite pickup line is “Did you lose that attitude, if so I’ll buy you a drink”. But if you think that’s vile don’t worry there’s more. He also clarified that if he doesn’t like a girl he just wants to sleep with them.

So basically Greg Graig is confidently telling the world that he views women as objects there for his pleasure. Oh Graig. If Canada gets to axe someone you better believe you are first on my radar.

Speaking of painting a target on his back… Greg Graig was a dumb dumb. And I’m not talking about the endless supply of faux hipster glasses he’s been wearing. Papa Bruno decides that the best play for the week to get Sindy With An S out is to start a rumour that Boo Boo Kitty has been talking shit about her, but he doesn’t want to say anything himself. Instead he shares his idea with Greg Graig who jumps on it like he’s stage diving at a Nickelback concert. Just like last time Greg Graig can be counted on to blab blab blab. And just like that GG looks untrustworthy, Boo Boo Kitty is gunning for him, and Papa Bruno gets to sit back and watch his plan unfold.

But back to the Players these boys seem to think they are. We also have Quarterback Zach joining the douche fold as he has genuine feelings for Ashleigh (who is legit smitten with him) but wants to hold off being in a Showmance with her so that he can continue to string along Willow and BritBrit. Sex as strategy… well, it does have a proven track record, so at least there’s that.

Which leaves us with Wizard Chess Jordan. Sindy With An S was pretty certainly getting ousted this week, leaving her grasping for anything to keep her safe. And when the rest of the house called it a night she decided to grasp Jordan. Wizard Chess was super down with it because getting action in the Big Brother house was on his bucket list. Sorry Sindy With An S, seems like you’re just a warm body on a to-do list.

I. CAN’T. EVEN.

Getting back to the actual business of the evening, it was a live eviction night. Sindy With An S was voted out unanimously and refused to hug Graig on her way out the door. So she did one thing I can be on board with at least.

The HOH game immediately got underway in a True/False heads-up knockout round. And with basically no strategy in place on anyone’s part Kevin won. Good news for our budding Showmance of Kevin/Peely, bad news for live feed watchers it’s going to be an Instant Eviction so feeds are going down for a while.

See you back on Sunday…