The closer we get the more exictied I get about Star Trek. Dyed in the wool fan I am, but this trailer is also just fantastic. Sets up the bad guy as a legitimate threat better than past trailers have and shows a lot more action from the plot than a lot of previous efforts have.
It’ been hard keeping myself in the dark about this one but damn if I think it’s not going to be worth it. Tell me what you think after you;ve watched it.
The problem with comedy is that it depends on so many subtle factors. Each of the vital elements – script, cast, direction, editing – must be both strong in itself and also interconnected with each other. When it works, it’s a beautiful thing that lifts the spirits and throws smiles around freely. When it doesn’t, when each element fails individually and disrupts the whole, you’re left with a bitty, unstructured mess that leaves an extremely sour aftertaste. Unfortunately, *21 And Over* is one of the sourest comedies I’ve seen.
The premise is one you’ll be familiar with if you’ve ever seen any film starring a group of college kids that include an achiever, a sweary idiot and a introvert with a big day approaching. Miller, Casey and Jeff Chang (who is always referred to in full) are three high school best friends who have found College has pulled them apart in more ways than just geography. On the day of Jeff Chang’s 21st birthday – an important date in America that finally releases alcohol from the shackles of secrecy and fake IDs – Miller and Casey arrive at their old friend’s residence to treat him to birthday hijinx. However, Jeff Chang has a lifechanging interview for Medical School set up by Harsh Asian Father, and refuses to go out so as to be fresh and ready by 7am. Of course, his resolve disappears and extreme drunkenness soon leads to a race against the clock to get Jeff Chang home in time, incorporating spanking, punching and nudity along the way. Basically, it’s *The Hangover – The Early Years*.
Which would be fine, if the constituent parts amounted to anything. There are no new stories, it’s true, but the way in which stories are *told* has the ability to excite through creative choices. This narrative electricity is wholly absent in *21 And Over*.
One of the main issues is that the three main protagonists don’t have any kind of connection on screen. Compared to something like *Superbad*, their relationship never feels genuine, or that it stretches past the words on the page. Maybe it’s the casting, maybe it’s the heavy-handed direction and script; something seems to be holding the actors back, even though they’ve each proven very capable in their other films. Having the heart of the movie so unbelievable makes their journey together barely interesting.
The narrative structure and scripting is equally frustrating. Full of convenient jumps and side-steps, the main characters often behave in a way that does not endear them to the audience but instead leaves us scratching our heads at the way it unfolds. Lines are predictable and practical rather than cheeky and inspired, while characterisation is a standard journey from A to B. Set-ups and scenarios are garish and unattractive, the movie happy to propagate the myth that US Colleges are mostly full of flashing girls and dickhead jocks. It’s very hard to connect with a story that constantly dissuades personal connection.
It’s technically a mess, too. Apart from the previously mentioned ineffective direction, at some points the editing and ADR is so bad that the flow of scenes completely breaks down. Full of dubbed lines over non-moving mouths and jarring drops in pace, it’s odd to imagine how it was not corrected before release.
It’s not a total disaster, though. One or two of the lines break a smile, and chief Douchebag, Randy, has a couple of male followers who are genuinely hilarious in their literal narrative of his every action. More of this kind of curveball humour would have added much to the blandness.
By the end, you find yourself frustrated at the lack of imagination in the turn of events. The conclusion, a seemingly perfect opportunity for Harsh Asian Father to redeem himself in the face of his suicidal son’s newfound honesty, simply ends with straightforward violence and parental rejection. However, this squandered opportunity just matches what has been happening for the previous ninety minutes, and so the viewer is just left with rolling eyes at the missed potential.
If you feel the need to watch this kind of against-the-clock College comedy, there are much better titles to choose from. In fact, just watch *Ferris Bueller’s Day Off* again, even if you’ve seen it before. I guarantee you’ll have a much better time, and anyway, you’ve seen everything *21 And Over* has to offer many times before in much better ways. Avoid.
Good news everyone! The Worlds End US release date has been moved up two months! So sayeth director Edgar Wright:
For those in the US who didn’t want to wait another two months for ‘The World’s End’, we give you a new release date! boxofficemojo.com/schedule/?view…
— edgarwright (@edgarwright) March 20, 2013
This is nothing but good news. Puts is square in summer popcorn relaese time rather than autumn oscar contenders and “things we didn’t know what to do with” times.
More good news for one of my [most anticipated of the year](https://awesomefriday.ca/2013/01/matts-most-anticipated-of-2013/)
Dear Hollywood,
It’s Matthew here. I know that you don’t know me very well, but I felt compelled to reach out. You see, I just heard that [Joel Silver and Studio Canal are trying to do an origin story for Snake Plisken](http://www.deadline.com/2013/03/joel-silver-studio-canal-to-reboot-john-carpenters-escape-from-new-york/) and I want to ask you to not let this happen.
It’s been a tough time these last few years. From the outside it certainly seems like everyone down there is having trouble coming up with exciting new ideas. There have been more films based on existing material every year for the past several. That’s sequels, remakes and reboots, and the dreaded origin story.
No, for the record, I don’t think this is inherently a bad thing. There are lots of reasons why it’s a good thing. Writers and audiences like to revisit characters or stories. Studios like properties they can bet big on. Stories may have more chapters that can be told. Stories can be updated to reflect more current sensibilities. The list goes on.
However, _origin story prequels almost always suck_. Why you ask? I’ll tell you.
Take Snake Plisken. He’s a fucking badass and that’s all I need to know. He has an eye patch. You know what I don’t really need to know? How he ended up with said eyepatch. Furthermore, when you do a prequel and show me exactly how he ended up with that eyepatch? It’s either going to be not as cool as what I might have imagined, not be shocking because we knew it was coming, or you’ll try to make it _so cool_ that it’ll end up being annoying.
You know what would be cool? Just do another Snake Plisken movie in the series and in the course of that movie have someone ask him how he lost his eye. Or have him face a new bad guy and when Snake meets him and someone asks “wait, do you know him?” Snake can say _”he owes me an eye”_. That’s a movie I’d watch, even if you recast Snake.
The point is that there is some value to the mystery of it all. I don’t need to know that Snake lost his eye by using it to stop an arrow that was aimed at an orphan baby or see him fight the wars that made him lose his faith in pretty much everything. He’s already a fully formed character with a boat load of flaws so work on developing that, don’t just show us where all those flaws came from. That’s boring compared to the idea of him growing out of some of those flaws.
So if Joel Silver wants to make a new trilogy of Snake Plisken films? I say go right ahead. Just don’t make them prequels. I’m sure they’ll make money, but there is already so much to explore in that world. Have him go back to New York. Have him fight the oppressive government. Hell, you could even just rip off _Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome_ and have him fighting some bad guy in a post apocalyptic wasteland town (he destroyed the world’s technology, remember?) and post apocalyptic movies are big business these days! I’d watch that!
Take _Star Wars_ as an example, George Lucas made a trilogy of prequels and you know what? They are middling at best because we already know everything we needed to know about those characters. Seeing how Annakin Skywalker became Darth Vader didn’t make him more evil and it didn’t really do a very good job of making him more sympathetic, it just made him seem like an unwitting pawn. A _pawn_. And you don’t want to make Snake Plisken into a pawn.
To be fair, it is true you could end up with a great film. _X-Men: First Class_ is one of the best films in the X-Men franchise and it is an origin story prequel. However you’re more likely to end up with something like _X-Men Origins: Wolverine_, _Prometheus_, or _The Phantom Menace_.
Your new movie might be pretty to look at but at the end of the day you’ll have spent so much time trying to shoehorn in references to what’s already been established that the story will suffer and the film will be OK at best. Worse yet, you might end up with something like _Battlestar Galactica: The Plan_, which was utterly pointless.
And if you insist on doing a prequel please do something for me: just don’t do an outright origin story, just tell a new story with the same character. It worked for Indiana Jones after all.
So that’s me Hollywood, asking you to take a step back and have a think about what you’ve been doing lately. I love you and I want you to succeed and make a brilliant movie and that requires having a new thought about the character not just making a story that fits all the history that we already know.
Love,
Matthew
I was once booked to play Charlie Chaplin in a commercial for a mechanic’s garage. (Context: I worked as a professional actor in Vancouver for two years before an incoming baby necessitated the need for regular income, i.e. not acting). It was a terrifying proposition. I knew that my years of training in physical theatre would come in useful for the signature walk, but Chaplin was always more than that. He had this very particular look in his eyes, one of innocence and reflection, which was so iconic it became placed front and centre in all of his posters. This was not a new character; this was someone who had a legion of fans from every age group and social demographic in the world. There was a good chance many *Chaplistas* would end up judging my facsimile, examining each and every gesture, comparing me not only to the real Chaplin but also to their emotional perception of him. So, I started where they already were: with every film and short I could find, slow motion frames on one side and my mirrored reflection on the other. In the end, I pulled it off; I often hate watching myself back – when is there ever anything that could not be improved? – but I was genuinely pleased at how authentic it looked. Of course, there’s someone, somewhere who rolled their eyes at some point, but that’s inevitable. It’s just the *amount* of eye rolling that you try to keep down.
With *Halo 4*, however, the tables are turned. This time, *I’m* the expert, the age-old fan who could talk you ragged about Master Chief’s armour, the effect of playing as The Arbiter, or the deep mythos that ties all the previous games together. Mostly, I’d want to talk about [*”I need a weapon”*](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ9RjKiqQV0), or leaping on a Hornet just as a Covenant vehicle explodes, or even how [*Halo 3: ODST*](https://awesomefriday.ca/2012/11/revisiting-halo-3-odst/) might be my favourite title in the series. I’m the one whose Xbox 360 game collection is propped up like this:
With series overlords Bungie finally walking away to line Activision’s pockets with the upcoming [*Destiny*](https://awesomefriday.ca/2013/02/awesome-bungie-unveils-destiny/), it was down to Microsoft to assemble the best team they could find and wring some more Spartan cash out of the Chief’s thick green armour. However, as obviously talented as 343 Industries is, they had an impossible task – please all the *Halo* fans, all the time. After all, this wasn’t a splinter title but a direct numbered continuation of the series that, for many people (myself included), was solely responsible for the buying of whole new consoles. We would be holding up 343’s *Halo* to our own rose-tinted memories. It’s clear that 343 knew this, and *Halo 4* directly references sequences from the older titles whilst introducing new features for the new trilogy. This approach leaves a paradoxical final game, one that can be two opposite things at once: exciting yet boring, precise yet sloppy, intense yet vague. It’s a schizophrenic campaign full of wows and what-ifs.
The ending of *Halo 3* left the perfect jump-off point for a new game, and this is utilised fully. The last time we saw Master Chief, he was placing himself in sleep stasis after finally defeating the Covenant and Flood and destroying the control bridge for all of the Halos in the universe. Left alone in the remains of a ruined spaceship, he drifts through space with just the AI, Cortana, watching over him. *Halo 4* uses this setup in its bombastic prologue, with the Chief rudely awakened not only by an invading Covenant force but also by the ominous scans from a nearby Promethean planet. Caught in its gravity, the Chief and Covenant forces are pulled to the ground and are soon joined by a human rescue team, before unwittingly activating the planet’s defence system in the form of New Enemy Types. Their leader, The Didact, is intent on getting a weapon to “catalogue” all humans, and Chief finds himself – apparently pre-ordained – to stop him. Cue beautiful vistas, a variety of weapons, and some moving targets to shoot in the face. Repeat for seven hours while attempting to make sense of the story.
The first thing you’ll notice – and will keep on noticing for the length of the entire game – is how stunning it all looks. Really, truly amazing, and further proof that next-gen consoles are going to have trouble to prove their existence if all they offer is shinier graphics. Everything has a tangible solidity, the world-building architecture is breathtaking, and incredible lighting makes it all feel so movie-like. It’s easily the most attractive game in the series, and going back to *Reach* feels like a leap backwards to a whole previous generation. The engine is largely flawless, the only occasional drops in frame rate (usually due to loading) are notable due to their rarity. Enemies flood the battlefields, on land and in the sky, finally giving series fans the kind of huge battles that we’d been dreaming of since the first title. The UNSC weapons carry incredible punch, the DMR and Magnum again proving an almost unstoppable combination in the right hands, and the few flying sequences are astounding in their scope and potential.
It’s tempting at this point to imagine *Halo 4* turning into a series classic, with the old thrills intact but with a shinier gloss. However, as the campaign unfolds, the cracks appear and sometimes threaten to swallow you whole. The problem isn’t the artistry of the development team – there can be no doubt that they are totally fine in that regard – but more so that, while the nods to “classic” *Halo* largely ring true, the new elements added just don’t have the same impact. In fact, they go a long way to ruining the whole damn thing.
The main problem, unfortunately, is that Bungie made the original Covenant enemies so damn good. From their chunky design to the flank-happy AI routines, it was always such a pleasure to crank up the difficulty and face off against the various types, each requiring brains to outmaneuver before hitting them where it hurts. The UNSC and Covenant guns were varied and powerful, each opening up gameplay options for every single firefight. 343’s new addition is the Prometheans, an enemy again split into three main enemy types, but it doesn’t take long into your first encounter with them that you realise something is wrong. Covenant Elites are aggressive and intelligent, rushing you directly with energy swords or flanking behind you before exploding out with destructive brutality, but the Promethean Knights just shoot and run. They frequently warp out of sight, with their only rush attach a quick warping zig-zig that often ends in unavoidable instant death. They have flying support, who also fly out of range after one shot, and not only provide shields but also *bring dead Knights back to life*. You can clear a path only to find it reset in seconds, all because you missed one enemy. So, they are designed to be a long-distance attack enemy, and that’s usually fine, but the troubles increase when you run out of ammo for the DMR and Magnum (which happens quickly). The only other weapon in any kind of abundance is the Promethean Suppressor, a rapid-fire gun that’s fairly effective close-up but borders on useless from any kind of range. The beauty of *Halo* has always lay in its invitation to approach battles as you see fit, but that is lost here. You’re forced to charge wildly into the fray, finger firmly down on the trigger in the hope that they’ll die before you do.
The third new enemy type is a quadrupedal beast with a gun in its mouth, often arriving in numbers to chip away at your energy as the larger enemies once again warp out of view. It’s all a little reminiscent of The Flood at this point, with intelligent attacks substituted for overpowering rush, and it’s not a welcome addition. The negativity created by 343’s new elements doesn’t end there, but instead is exacerbated by all of the new weapons. Even without the disappointing fact that they are all basically reskins of each other’s – even though the human, Covenant and Promethean weapons were created aeons apart *for different bodies* – you can’t avoid the fact that they feel hopelessly weak and underpowered. This is made most glaring when you’re forced to change from the razor-sharp accuracy of the Magnum or Covenant Combine to the Boltshot or Storm Rifle. Suddenly you’re not the most advanced soldier in the universe but more of a Stormtrooper on his first day in the Death Star. It’s annoying, unneccessary, and completely breaks away any feeling of fun or enjoyment.
Unfortunately, this makes every level featuring the Prometheans one that is met with growing sighs and creative swears. However, as the campaign shifts into the second half, things get much, much better. There proves to be a very obvious reason for this sudden shift in quality; instead of forcing you through their new elements of the story, 343 focus on what made *Halo* the series it is – fighting alongside UNSC infantry, against Covenant Elites, under an azure sky. This really is *Halo* at it’s very best, the skeleton constructed by Bungie dressed in gorgeous new clothes. And explosions. So many explosions. As you move in a giant tank along a mountain path (which is uncannily reminiscent of the same sequence in *Gears Of War 2*), the old feelings come flooding back and motivation spikes. Enemies charge under and above you, tenacity winning over brutality every time. Things pick up even further as you head into the sky, first with Banshees, then to a Pelican, before a daring chase into a tunnel in a Broadsword, the ship that was flown briefly in *Halo: Reach*. Each of these levels are magical slices of escapism and thrilling to the end. In fact, the Broadsword level feel so much like the Warthog chase that closed *Halo 1* and *3*, it’s tremendously disappointing to find yourself back fighting the Prometheans on foot, once again having to destroy three of something before you can proceed.
However, the best is saved for last, with the Chief finally trying to secure the key weapon on an asteroid base above the third Halo ring. Of course, the Covenant want it too, leading to a busy set of combat arenas that don’t even try to pretend that they’re not reflections of earlier levels from the series. It’s a final move that, although successful, really brings the faults of the rest of the game into sharp, glaring focus.
Perhaps the most surprising element is how successful 343 Industries is with their telling of the story. Not in the complicated sci-fi premises it throws about (mainly in an exposition flashback that is truly bewildering), or in their inevitable decision to appeal to the *Call Of Duty* crowd with thankfully sparse Quick Time Events, but more in the focus on the Chief and Cortana as real, connected entities who may actually share something approaching love. It’s a very brave move, considering the established fanbase that they’re targeting, but their aims are achieved with surprising sensitivity and subtlety. Cortana, in particular, has been realised beautifully, her exemplarity facial animation revealing the desperation in her lost cause. The final endgame causes a separation that is genuinely moving, although this being sci-fi, you know perfectly well that no-one disappears for ever. I hope not anyway; Cortana is the key to the Chief becoming more expressive, and it would be a crying shame to not see that unfold even more.
So, in the end, you are left with a mixture of elation from the classic levels with the sourness of your experience with the Prometheans. It’s a shame that, in their bid to introduce new elements to the series, 343 Industries just shows how delicate the balance can be. What *Halo 4* is, though, is a tantilising glimpse into what this amazingly talented collection of artists and coders can do to recreate the old magic, and it’s tempting to pin hopes on having even more of the good stuff in the next-gen *Halo 5*. Maybe, then, our own eye-rolling can be reduced to a minimum as we fight with the Chief, always pushing forward, back among the stars.
*Note: This is a review purely of the campaign, but the game itself has a variety of extra one-off missions (Spartan Ops) and, of course, the ever robust multiplayer. However, as I don’t play any kind on online MP, I can’t really comment on it.*
You know that RomCom where the older man is still in love with but has to learn to appreciate his ex, and the younger generation in the movie are just learning about what love is and what it really means?
Yeah, you’ve probably seen this movie before. The thing about this movie is that it’s the type that can be truly awful but it can also be really good. Hopefully it falls into the latter category.
CinemaSins already [pointed out all the things wrong with Simon’s favourite Christopher Nolan Film](https://awesomefriday.ca/2013/02/awesome-everything-wrong-with-inception/) so it’s only fitting they’d do one of mine.
It’s amazing how many little things you’ll let slide in a well executed film. There are holes you could drive a bus through in The Dark Knight however it was great and The Dark Knight Rises was not so much.
Ok this is bad.
There’s no other word for it. Oh, wait, there is: _god awful_. Ok that’s two words, sue me.
The basic set up of this film is that The Rapture has happened, Craig Robinson is the Anti-Christ, and Anna Kendrick is humanity’s best hope. That sounds like it could be amazing, but this trailer seems to indicate that the movie goes for every stupid joke it can and that none of them are funny.
And then Ken Jeong shows up at the end, clearly as God, which means we’ll have to put up with Ken Jeong being Ken Jeong. Which, in case you can’t tell, I’m tired of.
So basically, this movie sounds like it could have been amazing but looks like it’s going to be shite. Maybe it’s just a poorly made trailer though. Maybe.
Watch now and decide for yourself.
[Dave Trumbore writing for Collider](http://collider.com/ridley-scott-sci-fi-short-films/)
> Ridley Scott…only on Machinima! The longtime director of such sci-fi greats as Alien and Blade Runner will now set his sights on smaller fare with a series of web shorts. Scott, his commercials production company RSA and Machinima will team up to produce 12 short sci-fi films with the possibility of developing features from them. While Scott, now 75, is revisiting new visions of his earliest feature successes, he’ll stay out of the director’s chair for these shorts, sticking to executive producer status only.
Yes, this is slightly old news now, but it’s still worth spreading. Machinima has put out some great stuff lately (anyone who hasn’t seen _Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn_ needs to [take a time out and go watch it now](http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbX5s9tyTEFboBuPReykPblf3XPitNexf) even if you’re not a fan of Halo itself) and Ridley Scott is, well, he’s Ridley Scott. Not only that but he’s got some pretty high calibre directorial talent working with him at RSA.
So basically, I can’t wait to see what they come up with!
Despicable Me was cute and funny and made some money, therefor it has a sequel upcoming. That’s really all I have to say. The trailer shows so very little, just a basic plot set up, that it’s hard to gauge anything by it other than that it does honestly _look_ shiny.
As you may or may not know, I am a teacher and father of a two-year-old boy. This means that I spend the whole day essentially as other people’s property – either teaching the structure of a language contorted by the Normans, Celts, Vikings and Shakespeare, or running around saying things like “DON’T eat the jigsaw” or the classic “PLEASE STOP HITTING THE DOG WITH THE KIWI” (true story). As a result, my decades old gaming habit (addiction?) has taken a real battering. I realised that when I fell asleep, exhausted, in the middle of an intense virtual firefight, thumb still pushing my avatar into a wall as dreams took hold, my traditional gaming window had ceased to be viable.
This has lead to my backlog of unfinished titles growing to huge proportions, even necessitating the creation of an Evernote list just to keep on top of it. However, sometimes the Universe synchronises and I get the rarest of rare opportunities – a day off, in my apartment, with my son elsewhere and no work to be done. These cannot be squandered. So, today, I’m treating myself. The reading chair has been moved and has temporarily become the gaming chair, and in front of me I have *Halo 4* installing on my Xbox 360. I’m going to play the whole damn thing, from beginning to end, and update this article as I go.
I think this might be the last hurrah for the old 360. I started transitioning over to the PS3 early last year when my Live account ran out and I’ve barely used it in the last six months. I think later this week it’ll go on Craigslist while it’s got any kind of value before its successor emerges in April. How fitting, then, that *Halo 4* will be its swansong. I bought my first Xbox to play *Halo* and my first 360 for *Halo 3*, so this would be a fine send-off. I hope. The *Halo* fanboy in me is a little apprehensive, but there’s only one way to find out.
Here. We. Go!
9:43am – After the frustration of Heroic at Matt’s house, this is the first game I’m choosing to play on Normal. Hope it’s not too easy.
9:48am – Certainly is very shiny.
9:52am – Chief OF Duty. FFS. QTEs have *no* place in *Halo*.
10:10am – Nice prologue, but I hope Cortana doesn’t spend the next five hours telling me *exactly* what I need to do at all times. Tearing through Covenant with the BR and Magnum never gets old, though.
10:21am – “The whole ship was destroyed in the crash, but these Warthogs…they’re fine”.
10.35am – Either the Magnum is (still) ridiculously overpowered or the Covenant weapons feel incredibly weak. Either way, being forced to use a Storm Rifle is draining my fun and motivation already, which probably doesn’t bode well…
10:42am – The Forerunner architecture is beautiful, though. All tall and *Tron*-shiny. Becoming much more attracted to games with nice architecture, makes a big difference.
10:50am – To be fair, if I were to design an AI avatar, I’d probably make it a shapely brunette in a sparkly spandex suit, too.
10:54am – Feels like an attempt at a Best Of up to now. Crashing onto alien land, hunting Elites through lush green hills, Warthog sliding, bridge cross…check, check, check.
11:02am – And then there was the time where an Elite hijacked my Banshee then flew it straight into a wall and didn’t move. Then another one followed suit. Definitely finding some differences with the enemy AI compared to the flawless previous games’ performance.
11:08am – I’ve always been a lover of the solid AA games, and quite miss how they’re not really made any more, but it’s always nice to see the result of when an AAA game has *all* the money thrown at it. Some great artists at 343 Industries, that’s for sure. I just hope the story matches the artistic beauty. As someone who’s deeply involved in writing and language, a well-told story is what elevates anything to greatness.
11:13am – So when an Elite bursts out and charges you, and he’s got an energy sword so it’s a guaranteed one-hit kill, and the weapon you’ve got is too weak to damage him, and there’s no way you could have survived so next time you just spam grenades where you know he’ll emerge – I’m not sure that qualifies as good game design. Hmm.
11:22am – It’s *so* pretty. Amazing that they were able to squeeze graphics like this out of such old hardware. Oh good, Cortana’s pressed some buttons and now all hell’s broken loose.
11:32am – As much as I love the dismantling reload animation of the Promethian weapons, they feel as punchy as a handful of wet spaghetti. Magnum back, please. Also, Matt, you’re totally right – all the species’ weapons are basically reskins of each other’s. Most disappointing fact, so far. Love the feel of imaginative weapons in something like, say, the criminally underrated *Bulletstorm*.
11:35am – Croissants and hazlenut Nutella time. Also plan on drinking so much tea that I start sweating caffeine. Brb.
11:46am – I would like to thank (blame?) my Swiss students for getting me on to Nutella. They eat it with butter, just to make sure that it’s not healthy in the slightest. So, sugared up, tea made, time for more!
11:55am – How to infuriate me in two easy stages: STEP 1) Design enemy AI that make targets run away and attack from long range; STEP 2) Force me to use the only weapon in any abundance, the Supressor, even though it’s *completely* useless at long range with near zero accuracy.
12:01pm – Oh good, and the Scattershot’s useless too. How wonderful.
12:16pm – Hey Matt, remember when we first played this on co-op and we got stuck on the bit where we had to destroy the power to the pylon and put the draining of fun down to the difficulty level? Nope.
12:25pm – Oh, good. Instead of changing difficulty level – because there is no fun in cheap death and weak weapons – I restarted the whole. Damn. Pylon. Mission. Remember that time I was going to play the latest instalment of one of my all-time favourite gaming franchises in one go?
Wait!
It remembers our previous co-op progress, so I can jump in to the next level! I’ll miss the unveiling of the Big Bad, but apparently I’ve seen that already. Obviously left a big impression.
12:31pm – O! D! S! T!
12:34pm – It’s uncanny how much the Mammoth rolling along the cliff edge echos the exact same tank sequence in the one of the *Gears Of War* games.
12:44pm – OK, finally. *Gorgeous* engine, fighting Covenant with a squad of Spartans and ODSTs, original weapons. Bungie’s *Halo* at its very best. Really underlines how weak an enemy the Promethians are, though. And I never want to have to use their weapons ever again, thanks.
12:50pm – Oh good, three more power sources I have to shut down. How very original.
12:51pm – Aaaand a Warthog just killed me by driving straight over me as I was lining up a shot. Obviously Master Chief isn’t *that* vital to the war effort. This is the exact same spot where I gave up on the campaign in co-op – let’s see if I make it through this time.
1:03pm – Now I’m fighting my way to the grav lift into a Covenant ship in the *exact* manner it happens in *Halo 3*…
1:12pm – “We literally *think* ourselves to death”. Literally, Cortana? Literally?
“I promise…I WILL NEVER DIE”
1:22pm – Always been a fan of sniping, but nothing breaks the immersion more than being given ten seconds to “RETURN TO THE BATTLEFIELD” if I dare to strafe an inch out of range. Still, this section is the first to feel like classic *Halo*, even if I did have to drop the difficulty down to Easy just to squeeze any fun out. I really think 343 messed up the difficulty levels, they don’t match the other games in the series at all.
1:34pm – I’m working on the theory that pizza makes everything better, if when it’s burnt to a crisp. Speed Bake indeed.
1:36pm – Brilliant game design #44: After going up a ramp, enemies rush you, and *directly* behind you is an insta-kill drop. GOOD WORK EVERYONE.
1:42pm – Aah, the Promethians are back. Pizza, why must you fail me now?
1:52pm – Just not a patch on the Covenant. Nowhere close. Inside somewhere now that looks *a lot* like *Halo*’s Library, and we all know how *that* turned out. (Spoiler: Not well)
1:58pm – Took ages for the light bridge to come out so I could try and find Cortana, was wondering up and down that walkway for ages. Bug? Maybe.
2:05pm – So the (albiet extremely impressive) CG exposition sequence has left me more confused than ever about the story. Master Chief is the result of the genetic seeds placed in humanity by an librarian who hid a weapon – The Composer duh duh DUUUHH – away from the Big Bad after humanity tried to kill everyone and everything. Right. What? Now Chief’s evolution has ben “accelerated” so I guess I’ve got laser eyes or something now.
2:14pm – Well, picked up Cortana, still no idea what’s going on, found a portal (very convenient, these portals) and now I’m suddenly back here. So I guess I’ll keep shooting things until something changes.
2:19pm – You know, *Halo 4*, the more you put me back in a UNSC squad, taking out Covenant in a Scorpion tank, the more I just want you to be *ODST 2*.
2:24pm – Yeah, good luck arresting Master Chief. Go for it.
2:26pm – True love.
2:32pm – And now I want a whole game flying a Pelican. Shivers!
2:36pm – BOOM
2:39pm – My ride. Seriously, 343, make this happen. An *X-Wing/Tie Fighter* style game set in the Halo universe? Day one.
2:48pm – And another callback to *Halo 3* with the defence of a slow-moving space gondola.
2:59pm – The perfect mid-weapon-change Pelican money shot.
3:04pm – Haha, as soon as Cortana said that we had to destroy some power attenuators, I knew there’d be three. Bingo!
3:05pm – Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the very worst of *Halo 4* – trapped in a metallic Forerunner structure, surrounded by the Annoying Dog Promethians, The Insect Bastard Promethians and the Flying Arsehole Promethians, having to destroy three of something before I can proceed. Sigh.
3:15pm – So I did the three things by jetpacking all over the place like a crazy person, just scraped through, heart pounding, then died on way to door objective and it put me back before the three things. FFS.
3:31pm. Yeah, take *that* three arbitrary things that need to be destroyed. Back to the Pelican.
3:34pm – Um…my Pelican keeps randomly blowing up on the way to the next waypoint. Maybe it’s a comment on the fragility and reality of the universe. Or maybe it’s a bug.
3:36pm – Uh, OK, it was an invisible ceiling. My mistake for thinking that I was piloting a spaceship that could fly upwards.
3:43pm – Wading through Covenant again, trying to get to the control terminal for the defence spires. Must be close to the end by now.
3:45pm – Big, wide open space and a Banshee. Recipe for Halo success!
3:50pm – Endgame.
3:53pm – Or not, as it seems. Last push to grab an artifact, which is actually The Composer, from the space base above…THE THIRD HALO RING DUH DUH DUUUUH! (Totally did not see that coming at all)
4:02pm – Oh man. Fighting Covenant in a space base alongside UNSC infantry and human scientists. If only the whole game had been like this.
4:13pm – The dog needs a wee, and my son will be here in 30 mins. Looks like this will need to be continued. Hope you enjoyed this with me, a few of the later levels were bordering on classic Halo. Hopefully will polish this off later, so keep your eyes peeled!
8:32pm – *Halo 4* playthrough part 2 is GO GO GO!
8:37pm – There’s no question about it, 343 are definitely referencing highlights in the series so far. Just making my way through a dark service tunnel, just like in the first *Halo*. Is this a good thing? It’s certainly very nice to see it so very shiny, and it does help to reignite those old *Halo* feelings.
8:49pm – Lots and lots and lots of dead Covs. Honestly, they could have made a ten hour game out of this and I would have been ecstatic.
8:59pm – Whoa! *Halo* Mech! Wait. *Halo* Mech???
9:05pm – To be fair, the Mech is exceedingly good at making Banshee rain. Impressive number of enemies in the fight without even a hint of slowdown, kind of what fans have been wanting in a *Halo* game for a long time.
9:09pm – Another stuck Banshee up against a wall. Maybe it’s a new trend.
9:14pm – Some nice *Raiders Of The Lost Ark* face-melting there! Didn’t *quite* manage to rescue those scientists. Sorry, scientists.
9:16pm – Aww. The interaction between Cotana and the Chief is actually quite touching. Her facial expressions are very subtle. Genuinely impressive. Now, back into space, after the Diadact!
9:18pm – So now it’s the run into the second Death Star from *Jedi* that’s the inspiration. Heading headlong into the Diadact’s ship in a Broadsword, the same space ship that was playable in *Halo Reach*. Still looking absolutely lovely, and I get the feeling this might be *Halo 4*’s version of the final Warthog chase.
9:24pm – I’m a sucker for a great spaceship-flying-into-something-big sequence (you can blame *Star Wars* for that), so this is doing *all* the right things for me at the moment.
9:39pm – Back inside, on foot, fighting the Promethians again. Would have quite liked the spaceship part as the finale, I think.
9:47pm – Gravity. Hammer. I’ve missed you, old friend.
9:53pm – The big weapon being powered up by the Big Bad, a closed door, and a selection of weapons. Last part, then.
10:19pm – Really really really the end now. The *Call Of Duty* crawl rears its ugly head again, unfortunately. At least the QTEs turned out to be just bookends.
10:27pm – Game over.
So, thirteen hours, three dog walks, one trip to playgym, two meals and four trips to the bathroom later, *Halo 4* is finished. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope you found my trip back into the *Halo* universe as much fun as wading through a crowd of Covenant in a Banshee. Tomorrow I’ll post my review and final collected thoughts on the whole thing, after a trip to Wikipedia to work out what was actually going on. Good night!
Game of Thrones is going to be good. There’s little doubt in my mind of this fact because:
1. The source material is good
2. The source material filtered down through the people at HBO has been amazing so far
3. HBO is still throwing all the money at it
4. It remains perfectly cast
And now this trailer has happened:
First off, it’s bloody brilliant that they’ve used the _Tron: Legacy_ music. It’s a perfect fit for the suspense and tension the trailer is trying to build and it’s just cool to hear it again.
Second, looks like this season won’t be short on action. In fact, if it holds true to the books it’ll be full of action and that’s a good thing.
Third, Cirian Hinds as Mance Rayder? Amazing casting yet again.
Fourth, DRAGONS.
Yeah, this is gonna be good. It is known.
Remember how I’ve been talking about how I haven’t really been able to get excited about gaming lately and how there aren’t any games on the horizon that I’m actually excited to play?
Turns out I forgot that _BioShock: Infinite_ is a thing that’s actually happening. Here’s a look at the latest trailer.
BioShock remains one of the best games ever made for the current generation of consoles, and one of my personal favourite games of all time. The story was perfectly paced and the characters were engaging, the graphics were, _are_, stunning and beautifully realized, and the atmosphere was downright creepy. This is a game that legitimately managed to scare me the first time I played it because a few of its set pieces are perfectly executed.
BioShock 2 wasn’t quite as good, but was still a great game. Lots of interesting new story developments and gameplay mechanics, but it really did feel tacked on when the end of the first game was clearly written as a closed ending. Still, a great game and well worth playing.
So yes, I have high hopes for Infinite. Hopefully the game lives up to its predecessors.
It’s not for everyone, but I’m a sucker for Steve Coogan’s brand of humour. Here’s a trailer for his upcoming movie starring his long time character Alan Partridge.
Not much to say really. If you like him already you’ll like it, if you haven’t seen him before it’s a 50/50 shot whether you will.
Now all I need to know is a North American release date.
As Sony and Nintendo have found to their concern, mobile gaming has completely changed. Gone are the days where you needed a Game Boy, case, stack of tiny cartridges and pack of spare batteries – nowadays, our phones enable us to have a wealth of gaming experiences conveniently nestled in our pockets. With increasingly impressive hardware, the games being produced sometimes rival those of even the home consoles. However, there’s been some serious teething problems in this transition. Modern games, with their multiple inputs and tactile buttons, have struggled to find a home on a touchscreen. Simply put, virtual joypads and floating keys can never, ever give the same kind of feedback and control offered by a traditional joypad.
But, as with all maturing technology, games have started being designed not to just cope with the hardware, but to actually take advantage of it. The last two years have produced a number of games that truly show how relevant the iPhone is as a gaming device. So, in case you have a few hours to kill this weekend, here is my selection of ten absolutely essential iPhone games.
And yes, I’m aware of the existence of Androids and Blackberries and Windows Phones, but I don’t use them, so…there.
*Super Hexagon*
Let’s begin with the best. There’s probably not much more I could say about Terry Cavanagh’s psychedelic spinning puzzle game that [I haven’t said already](https://awesomefriday.ca/2012/12/simons-best-of-2012/), yet I still don’t feel that I’ve captured in words exactly how playing it makes me feel. Even now, I’ll become totally engrossed and be transported to some very Zen areas of my consciousness, yet stopping playing snaps the truth away like waking from a vivid dream. I’ll just summerise by insisting that my favourite game of 2012 – and maybe even all time – is a vital purchase that totally validates a tiny touchscreen device as a hardcore gaming platform. Buy it, now.
[*Super Hexagon*, $2.99]( https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/super-hexagon/id549027629?mt=8)
*Solipskier*
The philosophical idea that we create the world around us – solipsism – is a great basis for a video game. *Solipskier*, by Mikengreg, places your tiny skier on an endless 2D chase and your job is to create the ground by dragging your finger up and down as the snow scrolls out behind you. Speed increases and jumps are all down to dips and curves, while removing your finger completely sends your avatar into points-friendly tricks and spins. It’s all incredibly compelling, thanks in no part to the amazing metal soundtrack that mournfully turns into Chopin when you eventually crash out. Add some beautiful use of colour to the streamlined design and you’ve got a winning timekiller.
[*Solipskier*, $0.99](https://itunes.apple.com/au/app/solipskier/id383281764?mt=8)
*ZooKeeper DX/ZooKeeper Battle*
One of the all-time great match-three puzzle games and the only one to ever challenge Nintendo’s classic *Tetris Attack/Puzzle League*. What makes *ZooKeeper* so special is the gorgeous design of the animals – whose blocky faces get grumpy when you don’t match enough of them – and the amazing sound effects, full of perfectly guaged blips and buzzes. The DS version was good enough, but the move to a capacative touchscreen makes the action even more intense. You’ve got two flavours to choose from – the original DX, and the multiplayer-focused Battle. However, be aware that the latter version suffers from in-app-purchase cooldown, so the former is better for extended play. Either way, it’s a gem of a game that, at some point, will make you shout “Monkey? Monkey? MONKEY!”
[*ZooKeeper DX*, $0.99](https://itunes.apple.com/en/app/zookeeper-dx/id433596395?mt=8), [*ZooKeeper Battle*, Free](https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/zookeeper-battle/id548270497?mt=8)
*Drop7*
True story – *Drop7* started life as a flash tie-in to the crime-solving TV show *Numbers*. As a result, maths is at the very heart of this game, but it also somehow manages to be both approachable and utterly, life-destroyingly compulsive. Easily the most addictive game on this list, *Drop 7*’s masterstroke is that there is no arbrotary time limit forcing quick decisions. Your balls drop (f’nar), each numbered 1-7, and you need to decide where they fall. Once the number in the line equals the number on a ball, it disappears, and it’s Game Over if they reach the top. Easy to understand, so very complex to master. This is basically the iPhone’s *Tetris* – or maybe even better – and is absolutely essential.
[*Drop7*, $2.99](https://itunes.apple.com/en/app/drop7-by-zynga/id425245634?mt=8)
*ZiGGURAT*
The modern gaming obsession with shooting has tried to make the transition to the iPhone with very limited success. Virtual joypads and buttons have done their best, but it’s proven impossible to create any kind of precise aiming or movement. The developers of *ZiGGURAT* took a different approach, removing all but the central idea of staying alive. Your Contra-like soldier stands firmly on Mankind’s final mountain, shooting at the invading alien robots who have already wiped everyone else out. As you swipe your finger across the bottom of the screen, his weapon powers up and rotates through 180 degrees, with the bullet released when you lift your finger is charged by holding down longer. There is a real inevitability to your death, but this just makes you fight even harder. A great example of simple arcade joys recreated by a swiping touch.
[*ZiGGURAT*, $0.99](http://itunes.apple.com/app/ziggurat/id498448797?mt=8)
*Canabalt/Jetpack Joyride*
Bit of a cheat here, but it’s difficult to talk about any Endless Runner without mentioning the one that arguably started it all. *Canabalt* is the perfect example of how design can take a single touch and wrap it into an exciting noir sci-fi epic, as compelling as many AAA console equivilents. Run, tap to jump, and try to last as long – and as far – as possible.
*Jetpack Joyride* is an evolution of this idea, adding unlockable weapons and tempting in-app-purchases with a crazy cartoon story of escape and revenge. Unfortunately, this new genre has also given rise to the Free-To-Play, money grabbing approach as much loved by big label publishers as it is hated by older gamers. So, as the clones roll out, direct your money to these two games that actually deserve it.
[*Canabalt*, $2.99](https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/canabalt/id333180061?mt=8)
[*Jetpack Joyride*, Free](https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/jetpack-joyride/id457446957?mt=8)
*Tiny Wings*
Gorgeous and dream-like, *Tiny Wings* gives you a cute flightless bird and enables you to help him soar. As the colourful hills and valleys roll by, you guide your bird with one simple press – hold to dive, release to speed up and off the edge of the land into the azure sky. Even the Game Over state is just bedtime for the bird, further adding to the cuteness. Expanded for free since launch with new modes and stages, *Tiny Wings* was one of the first examples of perfect design for the touchscreen. Go fly.
[*Tiny Wings*, $0.99](https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/tiny-wings/id417817520?mt=8)
*Letterpress*
There are a great many excellent word-based iOS games to choose from, from *Words With Friends* to the scrumptious *Spelltower*, but in the end *Letterpress* wins due to its secret weapon – it’s actually a ruthless emulation of aggressive landgrab. Two players have an identical grid of letters that can be chosen to create words of any length, the letters of which change hue to the player’s colour. Points can be gained from unclaimed letters, whereas coloured tiles can be used but yield no reward, leading to a tense game of cat-and-mouse as each player tries to secure more land. It’s vicious, exciting, and brings out the fascist dictator in all of us. Glorious.
[*Letterpress*, Free](https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/letterpress-word-game/id526619424?mt=8)
*Plague Inc*
Who’d have known that a simple world map with some spreading red dots could be so engrossing? *Plague Inc* tasks you with the job of creating a bacteria/virus/brain worm, deciding where it will start, then manipulating it enough to spead it to seven billion people. And, once infected, adding disasterous symptoms to kill *everyone*. Although the idea of a game’s win state being the annaliation of mankind is a little disconcerting at first, you soon find yourself rooting for your little band of bugs and looming over preceedings like a Bond villian in his volcanic lair. Failure (*ooh, you only killed FIFTY MILLION PEOPLE*) leads to reorganisation of strategy and each game allows you to nudge closer to your deadly conclusion. A slow-burning strategy masterpiece.
[*Plague Inc*, $0.99](https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/plague-inc./id525818839?mt=8)
*Ridiculous Fishing*
Well, there’s no confusion with this title. Tap once to drop your line, tilt to avoid fish on the way down, then tilt to catch as many as you can on the way up, before flinging them into the air and shooting them dead with a flurry of finger presses. Each game lasts about thirty seconds and awards you in-game money to spend on unlockable upgrades. You cannot pay real money, only earn it by *playing the game*. Remember how that works? Made jointly by the creators of *Super Crate Box* and *Spelltower*, the design shows a wealth of expertise and appreciation for how the iPhone is best used, including tilt controls that are *perfect*. Cool, stylish and utterly deranged, *Ridiculous Fishing* is an instant iPhone classic.
[*Ridiculous Fishing*, $2.99](https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/ridiculous-fishing-tale-redemption/id601831815?mt=8)
Hope you enjoy these as much as I do. Total cost of all these games listed – $16.91. We live in the future. Have a great weekend!
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