I really like movies about making movies. I think they’re a fun way to explore and poke fun at the filmmaking business. I also like period set comedies, in particular those set in the late 40s and 50s. I like the design sensibilities, and I feel like the feel-good image of that era that still lingers today is one ripe for subversion. Also also, I really like Penelope Cruz. I think she’s a dynamic and interesting screen presence.

_The Queen of Spain_ then is a movie that should be right up my alley: it’s a period set comedy about making a movie starring Penelope Cruz. It turns out it’s not, though.

The story concerns Spanish movie star Macarena Granada (Cruz), who has returned to Spain from Hollywood to shoot a picture about Queen Isabella of Spain. The invite to shoot this picture comes from Spanish dictator Franco himself. She arrives with an entourage that includes an aged director (Clive Revill), a not-that-suave Movie Star (Cary Elwes), a blacklisted screenwriter (Mandy Patinkin), and a local crew of wacky side characters, including Jorge Sanz as a formerly famous Spanish movie star, Javier Camera as a gay assistant director, and… look, I could go on but suffice to say the supporting cast is a wacky crew of stereotypes and not in a good way.

Eventually, they all get mixed up in a pot to break an ex-lover of Macarena’s out of prison, and hilarity ensues. Or at least it should, but it doesn’t. Here’s the thing: this movie can’t quite seem to decide what kind of movie it wants to be. About two-thirds of it is a slapstick romp, both homaging and parodying the golden age of filmmaking. The other third is a serious prison break movie with commentary on Franco’s regime. All of this should be hilarious, but the slapstick part goes too far into weird, stereotyping territory, and the prison break is played entirely too straight.

There are a few laugh-out-loud moments in the movie, but they are few and far between. Worse, a few scenes play for laughs that are basically “look at this gay character doing a stereotypical gay thing! Hilarious!”. Even worse, there is another gay character who is played as a straight-up sexual predator and _that_ whole thing is played for laughs, too.

Penelope Cruz is great in this too. She’s a great actress, and I think she’s even better in Spanish than English, and here she’s given the full 50s glam treatment to boot. You really believe she could have been a Hollywood star in the 50s, right down to the way she speaks to the press.

It’s just too bad her performance is in such a bad movie.

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