#BBCAN3 ep 18 & 19 – Never Trust a Big Butt & A Smile.

bbcan3It’s Tuesday. I figured by Tuesday I would be able to drum up something clever to spin about the show. Something that transcends the nothing much that happened on Sunday & Monday’s episodes. And yet, here I am on Tuesday. Stalling. Contemplating pouring another cup of coffee. Updating facebook about “Dad Bod” in comparison to Magic Mike XXL and then searching iTunes for Ginuwine because once one get’s Pony stuck in their head one must listen to the entire song.

And then Bell Biv Devoe’s Poison shuffled up on my playlist. 

Spiderman and Freeze in full effect

It’s triple eviction week, which means we’re building up to another giant schism in the house. Or possibly a coup by one side. At this point it’s pretty unknowable what will happen tomorrow. But there is one thing that’s for sure, Quarterback Zach & Godfrey (the self-titled ‘Godfather’) have got it bad for each other. And by “it” I mean tunnel vision.

Girl I must warn you, I sense something strange in my mind…

No sooner is Sindy With An S out the door than Godfrey (along with Fun Bobby, Papa Bruno, Stoner Sarah & Boss Britt) wants the couples, and specifically Zach, GONE. Then again, Godfrey has been saying that he was after the Quarterback for weeks now. I’m not sure if there’s something going on that isn’t making it to the edited show, or if it’s simply a matter of two people stuck in a house that can’t stand each other. Either way all Godfrey can think about and talk about is Zach. So what does Godfrey do when faced with the next HOH challenge? He throws it. I’d like to say in some kind of master plan, but it doesn’t seem to be. In fact as much as Godfrey loudly talks about hating Zach and wanting him out, he hasn’t been able to articulate a plan to do so.

Situation is serious, let’s cure it ’cause we’re running out of time

Neither do any of the other people who want to target the “couples alliance”. In the end it comes down to Classy Kevin & Quarterback Zach. And Kevin wins. Which is the better alternative because Kevin is playing the long game and it makes for more interesting (read: manipulative) television. Kevin is aware that ultimately he is playing for himself and no one else. But the Quarterback is fixed on getting Godfrey gone. Pronto. So Kevin convinces his alliance that they’re going to put up two pawns and backdoor Godfrey. Zach could not be happier.

It’s oh so beautiful relationships they seem from the start, It’s all so deadly when love is not together from the heart

But Kevin’s real target is Fun Bobby. Partially because he’s been lying about the secret Power of Veto he doesn’t have, partially because he is the worst person to live with, but mostly because Kevin knows Bobby & Bruno are superclose. The Brain & the Brawn. And they’re the only people that will be going after him. Unlike Godfrey who only has eyes for Zach. That might come in handy further down the road when Kevin needs to dust off his back-stabbing blade. But how is Kevin going to convince Bobby he’s “just a pawn”?

Turns out he doesn’t need to, Fun Bobby volunteered to go up.

Because that worked so well for Jordan.

It’s drivin’ me out of my mind!

Meanwhile on the other side of the house we find Stoner Sarah slightly distancing herself from Boss Britt and employing Willow to spy on the rest of the house. The two have been shacking up in bed together and Willow has claimed Sarah as her one and only alliance. Which is why she interrupts a 3 a.m. HOH hang out between Kevin, Pili, Zach & Ashleigh. Watch out for this one guys, she’s coming for ya!

Miss her, kiss her, love her, wrong move you’re dead!

Classy Kevin puts up Fun Bobby and Boss Britt. It’s her fourth time as a pawn, and Kevin does try to appease her by saying she really is a powerful player. But the Boss is bitter. BITTER. No part of her is reassured by Kevin’s speech that he has a plan. And she’s not the only one, Papa Bruno smells blood in the water. He is furious with Bobby for volunteering to go up, and unconvinced that Kevin isn’t going to send him in. So Bruno goes to talk to Kevin in the HOH and thinks what Kevin needs to feel good is a lot of hugs. A major misread on Bruno’s part, Kevin thinks the hugging is weird and over the top, and if he was on the fence about Bruno before he isn’t now. He keeps up the ruse that Godfrey is the real target. And though the meeting ends in smiles neither trusts each other. When these two finally go after each other it’s going to be explosive.

If I were you I’d take precaution…


For now, however, we have the back and forth of Zach & Godfrey. Kevin slowly starts trying to plant seeds with Zach that really they should be focusing their efforts on Bobby & Bruno. He’s subtle, and makes good points but Zach has a one track mind. All he sees is Godfrey Godfrey Godfrey. He isn’t even entertaining ideas that it would be better not to go after him right now. And instead of listening to reason he starts to suspect the one person that’s been completely loyal to him (so far), Kevin. Kevin assures Godfrey that he won’t be putting him up but to keep up the act that he thinks he is. And instead of taking this news to form a better alliance to help himself down the road with Kevin he starts talking about Zach. Rookies.

Gettin paid, laid, so better lay low, schemin’ on house, money and the whole show…

So while two vocal players continue their public beef Classy Kevin is sitting pretty in the HOH room. His girl by his side. His target on the block. The Power of Veto around his neck. Kevin holds all the cards… for the next 24 hours at least.

Stay tuned, kids… tomorrow is going to be HUGE.