#BBCAN3 ep 9 – The End of Foreplay.

bbcan3I guess it was bound to happen at some point. The burnout. It’s all hot and heavy for the first three weeks and then… well… at some point you have to come up for air. And much like the current BB Showmances, the show took a breather tonight. Actually it sort of yawned.

The HGs were playing for an HOH titled “Through the Wringer”, but pretty much the only person in it to win it was Papa Bruno. The rest of them were sort of enjoying the foam party. Quarterback Zach was even purposefully trying to throw it. Meanwhile Papa Bruno is playing injured and killing himself just for the chance to get pictures of his kids and a letter from home.

He won. And he cried. And then he got his HOH room and his letter and he cried some more. And the world (inside the house at least) cried with him. He also won $5k in the competition and explained that it would be going to help his son who has club foot and needs special shoes. It’s pretty hard not to like Papa Bruno.

To his credit Bruno is also playing a really smart game, even if no one inside the house is appreciating it. Yet. He entertains all the usual people coming to kiss the ring but he knows from the start he’s putting up Stoner Sarah and Johnny Veto. Somehow Boss Brit gets a total pass for her master plan that got Greg Graig gone, and the house things Sarah & Johnny are to blame.

The majority of the episode was diary room confessions, and not a heck of a lot of game talk between players. Except their constant adding on of alliances with special names. At this point there are so many alliances that none of them even matter. What’s that old saying, something about if you’re friends with everyone you’re friends with no one? Same thing goes with these alliances.

But, as Quarterback Zach said himself “This game is about social manipulation.”

Which brings us to two points of interest tonight: the showmances and the shock collars.

Kudos to Production to coming up with an inventive and degrading way to pit the HGs against each other to earn the right to eat food. Dress them like dogs, blindfold them, and attach shock collars. Then send them through a maze that will zap them if they step out of line. Big Brother did their homework in the off season and came back with a play book straight out of Psych 300 lab experiments.

On the romance front we have Zach/Ashleigh & Kevin/Pilar. The girls decide to do their nails and have a little “girl talk” session. About boys. On a personal note just once I would like to see “girl talk” employed to discuss anything that passes the Bechdel test… anything at all. But in this case it doesn’t. Ashleigh & Pilar have been sailing through without a care in the world other than rounding too many bases on national television. But it’s like totally getting serious now, guys. Their hormones are leading them down the road to hell… emotional attachment. And how’s a girl supposed to know what’s real and what’s game play?

Quick way to check if you’re relationship is real or a convenient hook up in an isolated location: Is it fun? Do you feel protected? Are there cameras on you 24/7?

Then it’s a game.

Because even BB Canada’s King & Queen of romance Jillian & Emmett did not check those boxes. They fought all the time. Their relationship at times really threatened their game. And yet two years later they’re still happy as clams.

I’m saying all this on behalf of Sarah. Who wandered in on the girl talk after hustling her ass off trying to figure out a way not to be on the chopping block, and trying desperately to win anything at all. Poor Stoner Sarah, who I could tell practically bit through her tongue trying not to slap the girls out of their hormone daze. As she said to camera “It must be frickin’ nice.”