There’s a feminist revolution taking place in the Big Brother Canada house… sort of. At the moment it’s more of a female awakening. Which is nowhere as sexual as it sounds. It only took them three evictions to wake up their inner Spice Girls and it’s about damn time. But I’m getting ahead of myself…
Tonight’s episode kicks off with a surprise for new HOH, Classy Kevin, in a true piece of dramatic irony as Arisa already let Canada know it would be an instant eviction. But Big Brother has decided to take a different approach in Season 3. I guess the first two seasons the house guests were just too gosh darn Canadian and they weren’t eliciting the level of paranoia, gossip and vitriol that other international series do. (Yes, I’m looking at you BB USA). No matter all the Twistos Twists! they threw at them at the end of the day they still got along. This year BB isn’t playing. If the HGs aren’t going to be awful to each other Production is going to pick up the slack.
Case in point: tonight/Thursday’s “Instant Eviction”. Classy Kevin won HOH despite doing his best to throw the competition and was immediately taken into the Diary Room, and subsequently the Vault and told he had 5 minutes to make his nominations. Not being able to talk to anyone he picked Boo Boo Kitty (Naeha) because she had wanted him out, and BritBrit as an easy pawn. But if that wasn’t bad enough BB told Kevin that he would be let back in the house and that he couldn’t breathe a word or he’d be sent packing immediately.
To cover their tracks with the HGs who were getting a little suspicious about Kevin being gone so long, they surprised them with a buffet of food as a belated celebration for Johnny Veto’s birthday and to make up for their April Fool’s joke. Which means that not only is Big Brother really into manipulating them this year, they’re also three steps ahead of the game on how to cover up all their secrets. BB is bordering on Patrick Bateman levels of psychopathy.
The usual new HOH suck-up-fest starts right away with Greg Graig & Papa Bruno cornering Classy Kev in the pantry (and GG accidentally punching him in the nuts, an interesting tactic.) They both tell him he has to get out Boo Boo Kitty because as Greg Graig says “she’s dangerous”. The next duo to corner Kev in the pantry is Newport (aka Quarterback Zach & Wizard Chess Jordan). They immediately decide to form a trio alliance with Kevin called “Bromuda Triangle”. (I shit you not. Honestly, I can’t make this up.) Because you definitely won’t look suspect by going to the person with a new power position to form an alliance.
To his credit Classy Kev takes it with a pinch of salt and next up we see him in a dalmation print bathrobe by the pool and Boo Boo Kitty proposes forming an alliance between her, Johnny Veto, Stoner Sara & Kevin. Which Kevin genuinely thinks is a great idea especially when he finds out Fun Bobby, Papa Bruno, Godfreud & Greg Graig wanted him out the previous week even though they told him he was a pawn. The only problem is Boo Boo Kitty is already nominated. So… that’s less than ideal. As Kevin predicted winning HOH really screwed with his game plan.
It’s finally time to call the HGs together and Arisa appears on the screen to many gasps. It’s Instant Eviction time. They’re told that one by one they must go into the vault and write down who they want evicted on a piece of paper. Which is very unusual for BB. Fun Bobby fake cries on the couches but does a happy dance in the vault. And Greg Graig is so excited when he whisper-yells “You just entered the Chop Shop!” (sidenote: I cannot WAIT until this dude is evicted) Can you smell the Twistos Twist? Cause it’s coming… as soon as they all finish Arisa tells them that every person has to read their vote publicly. GASP. Even if the result is determined early. DOUBLE GASP.
Big Brother just put all your shit on blast. TWIST!
Boo Boo Kitty is sent packing 9-2. She expected it because as she told Arisa “They took me out cause they know I’m a player.” But when she heard the news that KFC was sponsoring (how, I have no idea) another TWIST that might mean she could go back in she was elated.
Back in the house Fun Bobby and Greg Graig are celebrating in Ego Central. No wait, that’s just the pantry. Ugh.
The five remaining girls are gathered around Boo Boo Kitty’s bed gathering up her stuff, trying to make sure they have it all. Which is when it hits them… they’re the only girls left in the house. Stoner Sara and BritBrit are like, “HELLO! We’ve been saying this all along!” Out of three evictions so far all three have been strong women: Risha, Sindy & Naeha. You can almost see the light bulb going off over their heads. They all decide that they have to start looking out for each other. And female fans across the nation cheered for what has the potential to be the first girl alliance in Big Brother to actually work. Willow even revealed in her confession that although she’s a part of the Chop Shop alliance she’s more concerned with protecting the women.
Now if only they could get some power.
What’s that? They did? YES THEY DID. Classy Kevin was dethroned and the remaining HGs battle it out for the new HOH. Thee competition involves working in pairs to stay balanced on tiny gear-shaped platforms (cause oh yeah, we’re doing this Steampunk theme, right?). They have to progressively move to smaller platforms, and when the competition runs to nearly 4 hours then have to switch to just one foot. But you know who has this in the bag? BritBrit. Cause Brittnee is a model. She stands in heels for twelve hours a day FOR A LIVING. And she’s partnered with her best bud Sara, who’s having some sort of spiritual revelation, and the two women bring home the W.
And who’s the first to come crawling to the powers that be? Greg Graig the Rat Rat. He immediately tells Sara that he would appreciate being kept out of it, and oh by the way the whole house wants Johnny Veto out. Let it be noted that when Graig knew he couldn’t target a woman he instead targeted the only gay male in the house. Coincidence or conspiracy? You be the judge.
The live feeds are back, which means the internet gossip machine will be working overtime. I cannot WAIT to see what BritBrit does with her power.