Doctor Who Has Mummy Issues

New Doctor Who costume

It was Thanksgiving in Canada this weekend, and to be honest the only thing I want to do less than watch Doctor Who this afternoon is go to the gym.  So I did the only logical thing, got a cup of coffee and settled in for this week’s insanity instalment.

  • Tonight on 60 Minutes…
  • Why do the Brits call costumes “fancy dress”? I mean, their daily attire is quite fancy to start with. Have they lost all perspective on what constitutes fancy? This is the place where children in private school wear suits (with tails!) to class.
  • Once again Clara has whipped up a fabulous dress from nowhere. And a convincing wig.
  • Are we still calling things “Orient” then? Is it like when people use “Antebellum” in a romantic way and just ignore all the terrible connotations that go along with it?
  • So I guess Clara really is breaking up with the Doctor. I hope this episode isn’t the awkward dinner a couple attends before they announce their divorce.
  • Peter Capaldi is far too charming, so wasted on Clara. Was it so different with Matt Smith?
  • And now with the sad horn music and stilted conversation. If these two are going to end it I don’t want stiff upper lip. I want them to throw things! I want explosions! Space monsters! Black holes! So pedestrian.
  • Talking to yourself is bad. But talking to yourself with Math is truly worrying.
  • I’m sorry… are you kidding me? Clara is phoning her boyfriend FROM SPACE. I can’t get a signal in a parking garage and she can somehow get a call through from a space train back to Earth. I’m afraid you’ve gone too far this time Who Writers.
  • “At least it’s not dangerous.” Why not add in “What’s the worst that could happen?” and a few other choice foreshadowing red flag lines while you’re at it.
  • Are they trying to do some sort of noir thing?
  • Oh no! This high tech lock won’t let me in! I know, I’ll hit it with my shoe. That seems plausible.
  • That shirt is so starched it doesn’t even look like cloth anymore. Having to dress that formally daily would be a nightmare.
  • Kill the cook already, let’s get on with it.
  • Good lighting job in this scene. Very Morticia Addams.
  • We’re only 20 minutes in and I’ve drained my coffee. Debating if I should go for another or just hope this gets interesting.
  • I guess this little heart-to-heart is the Space Time Travellers’ version of ladies room stranger bonding. 
  • Clara really has a perfect nose.
  • The Doctor a) has a cell phone that works in space & b) is a picture of a grasshopper with a top hat on Clara’s call display.
  • Of course the screwdriver isn’t working. There’s still half an hour to go and Clara hasn’t nearly died or lectured anyone yet.
  • Have you ever noticed how romanticized pre 1930s England is in film & television? What’s that about?
  • Frankly I’m surprised no one has brought up his bedside manner before now.
  • Bet the next victim is Clara.
  • Oh well, I was close.
  • Rocky beaches are the worst. Real murder on your ankles. Yet somehow Clara sleeps comfortably with perfect hair.
  • Where is the crazy steampunk devil lady these days?
  • Should I be sad Clara’s leaving? Because mostly I’m just annoyed. Getting to have such a unique role in life and taking it for granted to hang out with your boyfriend? Good riddance.
  • For fuck’s sake.
  • So she gets furious with the Doctor for being a liar ten minutes ago and then turns around and lies to the person she “loves”. Get it together, Clara.
  • Join us next time for… CSI: Space?

If you’re just joining us or have missed an episode, here’s where the T.A.R.D.I.S. has been so far this season…

  1. Doctor Who Does What? In The Where? Or Is It When?
  2. Doctor Who Episode 2: Robotic Bugaboo
  3. Doctor Who: Men In Tights
  4. Doctor Who and the Nightmarish First Date
  5. Doctor Who: The Intergalactic Job
  6. Doctor Who and the Case of Dramatic Irony
  7. Doctor Who: Dark Side of the Moon