Howdy folks. Watch here for all our thoughts on the Oscars tonight! Newest updates at the top, and I’ll update with a winners list as we go.
- Christoph Waltz for Best Supporting Actor
- Paperman for Best Animated Short
- Brave for Best Animated Feature
- Claudio Miranda for Life of Pie for Best Cinematography
- Life of Pi for Best Visual Effects
- Anna Karenina for Best Costume Design
- Les Miserables for Best Makeup
- Curfew for Best Live Action Short
- Inocente for Best Documentary Short
- Searching for Sugarman for Best Documentary Feature.
- Amour for Best Foreign Language Film
- Les Miserables for Best Sound Mixing
- Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall tie for Best Sound Editing.
- Anne Hathaway for Best Supporting Actress
- Argo for Best Film Editing
- Lincoln for Best Production Design
- Life of Pi for Best Original Score
- Skyfall for Best Original Song
- Chris Terrio for Argo for Best Adapted Screenplay
- Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained for Best Original Screenplay
- Ang Lee for Best Director
- Jennifer Lawrence for Best Actress
- Daniel Day Lewis for Best Actor
- Argo for Best Picture
Good evening! You join us just as I comment on Anne Hathaway’s prominent nipples.
Ok we’re set up and ready to go. The show starts in just a few mintues!
Matt’s pretty sure it’s the cut of the fabric. We’re ridiculously rock ‘n’ roll.
Renne Zelwegger looks a bit…zombie. Just a touch.
So they’ve run out of people to talk to and are showing us backstage. Maybe that bodes well for how long the show will run.
Note: names will be spelt entirely incorrectly, except when I guess it right first time.
Aaaaaaaaaaand we’re off!
Here’s hoping Seth McFarlane is hilarious and not just safe.
Who saw Argo? My wife, today. Verdict: “Fantastic!”
“The director or Argo is unknown to the Academy.” Ha!
“Jean DuJarden won last year and now he’s everywhere! no, seriously, its an age old Hollywood story: he couldn’t make in the talkies.”
Ok, I am on board with Seth McFarlane.
I’ll always support anti Chris Brown jokes.
The two magic words: Jennifer Lawrence.
“A lot of controversy in the use of the n-word in Django Unchained. I hear its based on Mel Gibson’s voice mails.”
Holy shit Jennifer Lawrence.
Captain Kirk brought a recording of Seth McFarlane is singing a song called “We Saw Your Boobs” from the future. Kind of amazing.
BRING OUT THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
Seth McFarlane can sing. And Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron can dance!
My wife’s Channing Tatum alert is a few seconds slow tonight.
Simon’s wife just wondered out loud why Channing Tatum wasn’t naked during that dance routine.
I’d totally watch the sock puppet version of Flight.
I also would totally watch the sock puppet version of Flight.
Oh dear God, ovaries exploding all round now.
Joseph Gordan Leavitt and Daniel Radcliffe. Fun!
Simon just asked me if seeing William Shatner dressed as Captain Kirk is for me what seeing Harrison Ford dressed as Han Solo again would be for him. The answer is, of course, yes.
Simon’s wife just mentioned again, minutes later, that Channing Tatum is wearing to much clothing. I sense a theme.
Best Supporting Actor time. Here we go.
Channing and I are practically twins, that’s the problem.
I’d like De Niro to win, just for the old days.
This really is an impressive list of nominees.
What the hell? Christoph Waltz???
Surprise Christophe Waltz win! Nice.
I mean, Waltz is amazing, but did not expect that at all.
and I’m zero for one so far. Dammit!
I really thought De Niro would get it. His last was thirty-odd years ago. Waltz was amazing in Django, though.
Good opening by Seth.
I really did think that Philip Seymour Hoffman would get it if Jones didn’t. So much for shaming the Academy for not nominating The Master.
Paul Rudd is amazing.
Paul Rudd is amazing. Melissa McCarthy is amazing. They are falling pretty flat on this voice bit they are doing.
Best Animated Short. Come on Paperman!!
I’ve only seen a few clips of Paperman but it looks absolutely gorgeous. Good win.
Best Animated Film. I have no strong feelings on this one.
OH HOW SURPRISING THAT PIXAR WON.
Not seen Brave either.
With a spoon ahaha
Sorry, she always reminds me of the punchline
“The American Dream is still a foot”
I did not like the Life Of Pi book. Twist at the end spoiled it. I wonder if the movie does it too.
First nominees for best film. Les Miserables, Life of Pie, and Beasts of a Southern Wild.
Really want to see Beasts Of The Southern Wild.
You know the films they chose are all gorgeous. Gorgeous.
I’d also really watch “Life Of Pie”
Sorry, was thinking of a documentary on deserts I watched.
You know, The Avengers really could have been a best film nominee.
COME ON ROCGER DEAKINS
Life Of Pi for Cinematography.
Life of Pi was pretty gorgeous. In fact, that’s its main redeeming quality.
Life of Pi award accepted by Vigo The Destroyer.
I’m going to put it out there that The Avengers score could have been nominated.
Visual Effects? Life of Pi!
Played off by the Jaws theme!
Damn. Life of Pie for best visual effects. I’m only one for four so far.
Ok, I’m just going to say that playing people making long speeches with the Jaws theme is kind of inspired.
So. Roger Deakins? Fucking robbed. Life of Pie is basically animated. The majority of it is green screened. I’m not sure how it can even qualify for best cinematography in that context.
The Channing Tatum magnet is strong in this house.
I’ve always thought it strange that people are even remotely interested in the actors. They’re just the storytellers. The good writers and directors are the real stars.
Anna Kareninininina wins for best costume design. Why is it that that movie didn’t do well? is it bad? or is it just too arty? or ?
So Les Miserables wins for Best Makeup and Hair. My question: HOW THE HELL WAS CLOUD ATLAS NOT NOMINATED???
50 years of James Bond. This outta be good.
Halle Berry just turned “Pussy Galore” into a multiple entendre. A bit obvious but still amusing.
I do love James Bond.
The best? Timothy Dalton.
The Best? James Bond.
I’m going to be a bit disappointed if this tribute is just a pre-recorded extended music video.
IS SHIRLEY BASSEY GOING TO SING GOLDFINGER???
HOLY SHIT SHIRLEY BASSEY IS SINGING GOLDFINGER. THIS IS AMAZING.
Shirley Bassey’s flesh-coloured dress top makes it look like she has mannequin arms.
who else is going to sing? Besides Adele that is.
What are the odds that we’re going to see Paul McCartney sing Live and Let Die?
Oh, please, yes.
That James Bond thing should have gone on longer. Shirley Bassey was great and all but there was so much more they could have done!
Quoting my friend Kat regarding Shirley Bassey:
This is exactly how Maya Rudolph will look in 30 years.— Kat Arnett (@katarnett) February 25, 2013
So I’m batting .200 with my picks right now. Here’s hoping that improves.
Live Action Short now.
Best Live Action Short is Curfew. Haven’t seen it. Will have to now.
He’s only going to get about twenty second before Jaws.
Best Documentary Short. I wish there was an easier way to see short films.
Inocente. Again, wish there was an easier way to see short films.
Liam Neeson is “the definition of a modern American superhero”. Has no one told anyone that he’s Irish?
WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER
Three more best film nominees: Argo, Lincoln, and Zero Dark Thirty
These montages are pretty masterful.
A Ben Affleck Gigi joke!
Ben Affleck is here to present Best Documentary. A good director presenting a directors award. Good idea.
Mark my words, Ben Affleck is going to be remembered as a director. He’s 3 for 3.
“Coming up: the cast of Prometheus explains what the hell was going on in Prometheus.” Seth McFarlane’s jokes are pretty obvious in hindsight, but ifeel like his delivery is far and away better than anyone from recent memory.
All these TV spots for Oz the Great and Powerful are doing a much better job of selling the movie than the trailers have done so far.
Best foreign language film is up next. I have no idea who will win.
I love Jennifer Garner.
Ok War Witch is Canadian so I automatically root for it
amour wins Best Foreign Language Film. So that’s one out of the running for Best Picture.
John Travolta is on stage talking about musicals. Also his hair looks impossible.
Big ensemble musical number time!
Ok looks like we’re getting a big song and dance number.
Catherine Zeta Jones is about to sing All That Jazz. Excellent.
I love Welsh valley girls.
She’s doing a great job singing live, to be fair.
Much respect for people who can sing in real life.
Damn Jennifer Hudson looks great.
Nothing like a singer who clearly loves singing. She’s glowing.
So, Jennifer Hudson can sang live too.
She can sang good.
Holy shit. Amazing.
The music of Les Mis is pretty damn powerful, to be fair.
Having the whole cast sing it was pretty amazing too.
Russell Crowe takes a lot of shit for his singing in Les Mis but you know what people? He’s not bad at all.
I’m glad that they tell me about the technical awards. Am I the only one?
HOLY CRAP TED IS ON STAGE
Sound Mixing up next. No idea what to expect.
Les Miserables for sound mixing. Given the live singing aspect, this makes a lot of sense.
Sound editing time. Again, no idea what to expect.
Mark Wahlberg: “No BS, we have a tie.”
Zero Dark Thirty gets one….
Vigo the Destroyer is back on stage.
SKYFALL GETS ONE
Seth McFarlane is calling the family von trap on stage. And a Nazi just told us they are gone. Slightly out of the blue, but hilarious.
Christopher Plummer on stage. Canadian Treasure.
Best Supporting Actress time!
Question: Will this be the big upset of the night?
Nope. Anne Hathaway takes it.
so I’m batting .333 now. Better.
Presidents speech time. He’s announcing a film museum And I thought that there wasn’t anything that would make me want to go back to LA.
“Thats a good idea, a bunch of co-eds, producers and an open bar. Great one.” Seth keeps hitting gold.
Always time for Sandra Bullock. Dream a dream of Reeves/Bullock Speed 3.
Best Film Editing. Again, where is Cloud Atlas on this list?
That’s a great point about Cloud Atlas.
Argo for best Film Editing. Good.
Regardless of how you feel about the story, it was an editing masterpiece.
Cloud Atlas, that is. Not seen Argo yet.
Oooooh Jennifer Lawrence!
That voice is like a duvet.
OH HELLO JENNIFER LAWRENCE. Also she’s introducing Adele to sing Skyfall.
(In a good way)
Man Skyfall is an amazing song.
Love this song. But still think it should been Lana Del Rey’s.
Adele is properly gorgeous.
As an Englishman, it confuses me as to why Adele’s singing accent is so completely different from her spoken one.
So it’s the fiftieth year of Bond. we’ve had Adele sing Skyfall, we’ve had Shirley Bassey sing Goldfinger, and we’ve had a video presentation.
So where are all the Bond actors and why aren’t they on stage?
Just thinking on winners from the evening and wondering why Life of Pi won cinematography when it’s animated.
Nicole Kidman lookin’ fine.
I forget that Nicole Kidman is properly Australian.
Last three nominees: Silver Linings Playbook, Django Unchained, and Amour. These montage trailer things they’ve made are great.
Django is amazing.
You know why Daniel Radcliffe and Kristen Stewart walked out to the Harry Potter theme? Can you remember the Twilight theme?
Production design award time.
Lincoln for Production design. Yup.
Salma Hayek never, ever looks less than smoking.
Salma Hayek occasionally only smolders.
Honorary Oscars. Hal Needham gets one. There really should be a category for stuntmen/stunt coordinators, even if it’s a technical award.
George Clooney: the TV actor that now epitomises Hollywood.
In Memoriam time.
Ernest Borgnine! Hal McQuarrie! Michael Clarke Duncan! Charles Durning! damn.
Nora Ephron? Don’t remember hearing about that this year.
Ray Bradbury too?
So, yeah, Barbara Streisand provides this year’s introspection.
“I think the hardest thing about writing is writing.” Preach, Nora.— Susan Arendt (@SusanArendt) February 25, 2013
So a tiny bit of research reveals the following about ties at the Oscars:
Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty tied for the Academy Award in Best Sound Editing. This was only the third tie vote in the history of the Academy, which resulted in two awards being presented. The Oscars were presented to both Per Hallberg for Skyfall and Karen Baker Landers and Paul N. J. Ottosson for Zero Dark Thirty. The other ties were for the 1968 Best Actress Award, which went to both Katherine Hepburn in The Lion In Winter and Barbara Streisand in Funny Girl and the 1931 Best Actor Award, when Oscars were awarded to both Frederick March in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Wallace Beery in The Champ.
Best original score time! Come on Skyfall!
Goddammit why does Life of Pi keep winning? ugh.
Bah. Life Of Pi again, for Score. Wanted Skyfall.
Best Original Song now. Skyfall’s got to get this one.
Why do I get the feeling that the new song they wrote for Les Mis is going to win the Oscar for best song?
Ok, if Skyfall doesn’t get original song? Let it be “Everybody Needs a Best Friend” from Ted.
More Norah Jones, please. At all times.
Skyfall! Nice. Great song.
Yes! Skyfall. So I’m 3 for 8 now. Ugh what a terrible record.
It’s amazing how Adele singing and Adele speaking seem to be from different parts of England.
Here’s a question: Where was Cloud Atlas on the Best Score list? Honestly!
Dustin Hoffman is proof that acting used to be only, purely based on talent. Not height.
Life of Pi better not win this one.
Aaaaaand I’m 3 for 9.
You know in baseball if you’re batting .333 that’s a good thing.
Best original Screenplay? Django, surely?
Like I said before, Tarantino knows how to write. If he was going to win one award it would have to be this one.
Nice to call out the actors as amazing, too.
I love Tarantino, and Jackie Brown is a terrible movie. Both of those things exist at the same time.
Especially since they all were amazing but only one was nominated.
SERIOUSLY THOUGH THE CLOUD ATLAS SCORE IS PRETTY MUCH UNTOUCHABLE THIS YEAR.— FILM CRIT HULK (@FilmCritHULK) February 25, 2013
Yeah, Hulk. That, exactly.
Here’s a question: they’d they let Anne Hathaway talk her face off but they started playing off Tarantino after roughly ten seconds?
Michael Douglas is just a younger clone of Kirk Douglas right?
Best Director time!
It’s uncanny how age is slowly chiselling Michael Douglas into Kirk.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.
Ang Lee as Best Director? Over Spielberg? YeahOKthensure.
I need to see Life Of Pi so I can be outraged. For now, I’ll just base it on Hulk 2.
Technically I can see why Ang Lee would win this. Technically it’s a well directed film. Technically, there were other better directed films this year.
Come on. Jennifer Lawrence time.
Best Actress time.
Sooo Jennifer Lawrence or Jessica Chastain?
Yaaaay! Alright, Jen. Alright.
Jennifer lawrence is my Channing Tatum. Now if she’d just do a movie where she’s a stripper, that would be great, thanks.
Best Actor now. Daniel Day Lewis? Hugh Jackman maybe?
I’m 5 for 11 so far. Let’s see who takes Best Actor
Daniel Day Lewis? Holy crap that’s awesome!
Daniel Day Lewis. Predictable. He’s a fine actor.
I mean, I picked wrong, but I honestly didn’t expect him to win even though he was playing Americas most beloved president during the time he passed the amendment to abolish slavery…..
The amount of time people get to give their speech has been quite… variable.
It’s funny how someone who is known for absorbing powerhouse acting is a little shy and awkward in real life.
Other things worth noting: the clip they showed from Flight totally spoiled the end of the movie, and I didn’t see Meryl open the envelope.
Although I’ll be the first to tell you that acting is a lie to yourself.
Oh Jack. Coolest man on the planet.
Wait, Michelle Obama is introducing the best picture award? huh. The Obamas really get PR don’t they.
Best Picture now. Argo, I think.
Django would be great, though. And it’s the only one I’ve seen.
Best picture and all I can think is “not life of pi, not life of pi”
I’m really glad Ben Affleck is turning into something special as a Director. I like him.
I am loving Grant Hezlov talking up Ben Affleck as the director. It’s a serious snub he wasn’t nominated.
Ben Affleck is clearly flustered and emotional. Amazing!
Affleck is clearly giving his best director speech. He should have given this speech 5 minutes ago instead of Ang Lee.
Great speech, Ben. Best of the night.
Ouch. Last song falling on its face a little.
Actually, a lot of the humour just hasn’t worked tonight. Shows how important a good scriptwriter is.
And that’s it. A safe year, but you’d be naive to expect the Oscars to be anything else, I suppose.
Would someone be so kind as to explain the appeal of Kristin Chenowith to me?
Well that’s it. I went 6 for 12. 50% ain’t bad I suppose.
So, that’s it. Thanks for sitting through it with us! Glad Ben got his chunk of gold. And Jennifer Lawrence made me happy. Goodnight!
Thanks for watching with us folks. Have a lovely night. We might follow up later in the week if the mood takes us. The gist of that would basically be “Life of Pi won too much, Ben Affleck is Classy, why wasn’t Cloud Atlas nominated for anything in the music/technical department?
Anyway, have a lovely rest ofyour night folks!
“Please give the Best Picture to Inception, it’s not too late”